The Poems of Jonathan Swift, Volume Two


Read by Arthur Krolman

He lived simply, loved his walks and craved the company of fellow poetical wits as they craved his company in return. With his pal Dr. Sheridan, for one, Jonathan Swift delighted in the 18th century equivalent of a rap off – going back and forth in dueling verse repartee. This second volume is a cornucopia of biting, iconoclastic humor and earnest criticism of injustice. Poems herein concerning Wood’s Halfpence are the companion to his famous Drapier’s Letters and trumpet his achievement in stirring up sufficient outcry to spare Ireland from damaging monetary debasement. He knew what real money was: “For in all the leases that ever we hold We must pay our rent in good silver and gold, And not in brass tokens of such a base mould.” And he didn’t think much of monetary debasement’s evil twin, fractional reserve banking, either: “We want our money on the nail The Banker’s ruin’d if he pays”. There’s a healthy smattering here of bums and urination references too – just so you know these are genuine Swift poems -- and all manner of other topics too. In Death and Daphne, written for a favorite grisette, we learn of Death’s sagging libido due to the skinniness of his human bride. And the last poem excoriating Sheridan for comparing base women to noble clouds is a heavenly coup de grâce for any challenger who would dare to top his politically incorrect and thunderous wit:

Some critic may object, perhaps,

That clouds are blamed for giving claps;

But what, alas! are claps ethereal,

Compared for mischief to venereal?
- Summary by Arthur Krolman (9 hr 53 min)

Chapters

Cadenus and Vanessa 39:36 Read by Arthur Krolman
To Love 3:09 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Rebus by Vanessa and Answer 2:50 Read by Arthur Krolman
Stella's Birthday 3:48 Read by Arthur Krolman
To Stella the Transcriber 7:07 Read by Arthur Krolman
To Stella While Sick 6:16 Read by Arthur Krolman
Stella's Birthday 5:07 Read by Arthur Krolman
Stella at Wood Park 4:32 Read by Arthur Krolman
A New Year's Gift for Bec and Dingley and Brent 2:22 Read by Arthur Krolman
Stella's Birthday 2:19 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Receipt to Restore Stella's Youth 3:01 Read by Arthur Krolman
Stella's Birthday etc. 10:13 Read by Arthur Krolman
Death and Daphne 4:43 Read by Arthur Krolman
Daphne 2:26 Read by Arthur Krolman
Pethox the Great 4:32 Read by Arthur Krolman
On a Pen 2:25 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Gold 1:47 Read by Arthur Krolman
On the Posteriors 2:21 Read by Arthur Krolman
On a Horn 1:59 Read by Arthur Krolman
On a Corkscrew 2:03 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Gulf of All Human Possessions 5:17 Read by Arthur Krolman
Louisa to Strephon 2:37 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Maypole and On Moon, Circle, Ink 4:08 Read by Arthur Krolman
On the Five Senses 1:36 Read by Arthur Krolman
Fontinella to Florinda 1:35 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Echo, Glass, Time, Gallows, Vowels, Snow, Cannon, Dice, Candle 10:06 Read by Arthur Krolman
To Lady Cartaret, Answer etc. 4:32 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Cutting Down the Thorn 4:31 Read by Arthur Krolman
Dean Swift at Sir Arthur Acheson's 2:25 Read by Arthur Krolman
On a Very Old Glass at Market Hill etc. 1:19 Read by Arthur Krolman
My Lady's Lamentation 7:38 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Pastoral Dialogue 4:35 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Grand Question Debated 11:29 Read by Arthur Krolman
Drapier's Hill 1:23 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Dean's Reasons 5:17 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Revolution at Market Hill 5:11 Read by Arthur Krolman
Robin and Harry 2:48 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Panegyric on the Dean 16:38 Read by Arthur Krolman
Twelve Articles 2:09 Read by Arthur Krolman
Crowe's Address to Her Majesty 2:50 Read by Arthur Krolman
Jack Frenchman's Lamentation 3:02 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Garden Plot and Sid Hamet's Rod 5:38 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Famous Speech-Maker 8:53 Read by Arthur Krolman
Parody on the Recorder's Speech 2:39 Read by Arthur Krolman
Ballad 2:57 Read by Arthur Krolman
Atlas Minister of State and Harley Stabbed 1:48 Read by Arthur Krolman
An Excellent New Song 3:34 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Windsor Prophecy 1:52 Read by Arthur Krolman
Corinna, a Ballad 1:49 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Fable of Midas 4:13 Read by Arthur Krolman
Toland's Invitation to Dismal 3:28 Read by Arthur Krolman
Peace and Dunkirk 2:13 Read by Arthur Krolman
Imitation of Horace, Epist. I, vii 6:18 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Author upon Himself 5:02 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Fagot 2:40 Read by Arthur Krolman
Imitation of Horace, Sat.VI, ii 5:30 Read by Arthur Krolman
Horace paraphrased, Odes II, i 5:35 Read by Arthur Krolman
Dennis' Invitation to Steele 10:22 Read by Arthur Krolman
In Sickness 1:58 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Fable of the Bitches 2:47 Read by Arthur Krolman
To the Earl of Oxford in the Tower 2:08 Read by Arthur Krolman
On the Church's Danger and On High Church 1:36 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Story of Phaethon 2:45 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Tale of a Nettle 3:16 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Satirical Elegy 1:57 Read by Arthur Krolman
Parody on Pratt's Speech 4:23 Read by Arthur Krolman
An Excellent New Song 2:18 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Run upon the Bankers 3:17 Read by Arthur Krolman
Upon the Horrid Plot 3:47 Read by Arthur Krolman
Quibbling Elegy on Judge Boat 3:13 Read by Arthur Krolman
Verses on Whitshed's Motto 1:38 Read by Arthur Krolman
Prometheus 3:57 Read by Arthur Krolman
Verses on the Order of the Bath and Epigram on Wood's Brass Money 1:33 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Simile 1:53 Read by Arthur Krolman
Wood an Insect 2:43 Read by Arthur Krolman
Wood the Ironmonger 2:07 Read by Arthur Krolman
Wood's Petition 2:12 Read by Arthur Krolman
A New Song on Wood's Halfpence 4:26 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Serious Poem 6:59 Read by Arthur Krolman
An Excellent New Song 4:55 Read by Arthur Krolman
Verses on the Judge Who Condemned the Drapier's Printer 1:44 Read by Arthur Krolman
Horace paraphrased, Odes I, xiv 5:19 Read by Arthur Krolman
Verses on St. Patrick's Well 7:38 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Reading Dr. Young's Satire 2:43 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Dog and Thief 1:24 Read by Arthur Krolman
Mad Mullinix and Timothy 12:09 Read by Arthur Krolman
Tim and the Fables 1:54 Read by Arthur Krolman
Tom and Dick 1:48 Read by Arthur Krolman
Dick, a Maggot 0:59 Read by Arthur Krolman
Clad All in Brown 1:45 Read by Arthur Krolman
Dick's Variety 2:00 Read by Arthur Krolman
Traulus, Part I 4:49 Read by Arthur Krolman
Traulus, Part II 2:27 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Fable of the Lion 3:20 Read by Arthur Krolman
On the Irish Bishops 3:43 Read by Arthur Krolman
Horace, Odes Iv, ix 4:01 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Walpole and Pulteney 3:14 Read by Arthur Krolman
Brother Protestants 3:08 Read by Arthur Krolman
Bettesworth's Exultation and Epigram to Sergeant Kite 3:20 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Yahoo's Overthrow 4:27 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Cashel and Bettesworth, Irish Club, Noisy Tom 3:48 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Dr. Rundle and Epigram 3:18 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Legion Club 10:24 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Printer's to Newgate, Libel Vindication, Apology, Ay and No, Ballad, Wicked … 8:24 Read by Arthur Krolman
Epigrams against Carthy 5:25 Read by Arthur Krolman
Poetical Epistle to Sheridan 3:23 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Upstart 1:49 Read by Arthur Krolman
Waterford and Blenheim 1:24 Read by Arthur Krolman
An Excellent new Song on the Grand Jury 2:16 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Archbishop of Dublin 5:13 Read by Arthur Krolman
To the Citizens 2:27 Read by Arthur Krolman
Punch's Petition and Epigrams 4:46 Read by Arthur Krolman
George Rochfort's Verses 1:25 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Left-Handed Letter and Replies 4:53 Read by Arthur Krolman
To the Dean of St. Patrick's and Replies 20:39 Read by Arthur Krolman
Mr. Thomas Sheridan and Replies 5:35 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Dr. Sheridan's Circular Verses 3:09 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Dan Jackson's Picture and Replies 14:16 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Pardon 2:36 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Last Speech and Dying Words of Daniel Jackson 3:24 Read by Arthur Krolman
To the Rev. Daniel Jackson 2:59 Read by Arthur Krolman
Sheridan to Swift and Reply 3:04 Read by Arthur Krolman
Mary the Cook Maid's Letter 3:29 Read by Arthur Krolman
A Portrait from the Life 0:57 Read by Arthur Krolman
On Stealing a Crown when the Dean was asleep 1:47 Read by Arthur Krolman
Prologue and Epilogue to a Play 2:55 Read by Arthur Krolman
The Song 1:46 Read by Arthur Krolman
A New Year's Gift for the Dean of St. Patrick's 3:22 Read by Arthur Krolman
To Quilca, Country Life and A Faithful Inventory 3:19 Read by Arthur Krolman
Palinodia 2:33 Read by Arthur Krolman
Letter to the Dean and Invitation to Dinner 4:23 Read by Arthur Krolman
On the Five Ladies and Replies 3:41 Read by Arthur Krolman
Ballad on Ballyspellin and Reply 5:43 Read by Arthur Krolman
An Epistle to Two Friends etc. 4:57 Read by Arthur Krolman
A True and Faithful Inventory 1:30 Read by Arthur Krolman
A New Simile for the Ladies and Answer 12:41 Read by Arthur Krolman