The Bialy Pimps


Read by Johnny B. Truant

(4.7 stars; 76 reviews)

Life is good at Bingham's Bagel Deli. The loathed customers are dealt the poor treatment they seem to deserve, bad rap music is played loudly, and The Rat is killed often enough to stem his immortality. And the insane homeless regulars -- like drunken Little Johnny Redbeard -- keep life interesting.

But when a rival tricks the crew into thinking that the deli's closure is imminent, they do the only logical thing: instead of giving up, they decide to go out in a blaze of glory, handing their customers the humiliation and abuse that the pesky social contract had previously forbidden. But as insults turn to assaults and snide remarks turn to harassment and pro wrestling moves, a strange thing happens. Business goes up -- way up -- as people come back in droves, begging for more.

But the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and as pop-culture welcomes the parody musical group "The Bialy Pimps" and its frivolous merchandising machine -- and as the crew pushes to see how much bad behavior society will accept -- the violent road to fame begins to feel like a runaway train, out of control and headed for destruction…

The Bialy Pimps is a tale that could only be spun by the twisted, vaguely profane mind of outspoken blogger Johnny B. Truant. Combining hilarity with questions about conformity and whether the tail or the dog is the one doing the wagging, this story can't help but raise a question for the reader: If the rest of your friends decided to submit to the Face-Kicking Machine, would you do it too?


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License

Chapters

TheBialyPimps 01 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 02 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 03 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 04 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 05 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 06 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 07 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 08 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 09 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 10 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 11 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 12 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 13 Read by Johnny B. Truant
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TheBialyPimps 17 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 18 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 19 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 20 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 21 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 22 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 23 Read by Johnny B. Truant
TheBialyPimps 24 Read by Johnny B. Truant

Reviews


(0 stars)

This book is an absolute delight. It is simultaneously refreshingly offbeat and irreverent. Makes me want to reach for a bagel... but carefully. ;)

Well done! Very well done!


(5 stars)

It was really nice just to hear a funny, silly well told story that was just well-crafted and entertaining. It was crass and certainly, as it warns, not family listening ...and yet ,when my adolescent boys heard it... they were absolutely cracked up by the few chapters that they listened to. It is very is very much more adult listening yet I enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you Mr. Truant for your delightful story. Further I appreciate that you did not go overboard in your reading of the story it is well narrated and modulated. I enjoyed the book so much I think I will purchase the text version and I look forward to reading more by this author.

I want a refund


(5 stars)

My face just got kicked by that machine! The kids in line said it was the "get a life machine" so I tried it, but it DIDN'T WORK!! Instead, it kicked me... I'd like to report this book for being too funny. Hopefully it will get arrested.


(0 stars)

This was a great story! Very funny and well written. It got a little out of control in the middle, but recovered and got better. It, for some reason, kept reminding me of those great 80s movies. Breakfast Club, sixteen candles, fast times etc. would make an even better movie ...


(0 stars)

One of the funniest books I have listened to in a LONG time...so good I have transferred the full podcast to my twin sisters MP3 player for her to enjoy too. We both agree Its such a brilliant original and witty read....but what will we do when its done? We ...


(0 stars)

I really enjoyed the audio book, The Bialy Pimps, by Johnny B. Truant. I loved the overall message conveying that a business flourishes when workers feel empowered to be creative and spontaneous. Described is a work environment that is a fun and wacky. Boredom is tedious and stifling. The customers ...


(0 stars)

I haven't even finished this book yet, but it's great. If you are a fan of the works of Kevin Smith, or have ever worked in customer service; this is the story for you. It's an interesting, absurdist romp for most, and vicarious revenge for the rest of us.

just keep going


(5 stars)

until the end I wondered if the author was messing with me in a. similar manner as the bialy pimps messed with their customers. like the abused regulars I just kept listening coming back for more chapter after chapter... it was worth it. I think.